Staff Wanted

[Jim DiGriz]

Barnabus here. I just wanted to announce the opening of our universe spanning employment agency, MORe (Money for Old RopE)

We have several divisions all catering to the requirements of those myriad of employers out there, be they human, alien or robotic.

At the lower end of the scale, for those looking for mass unskilled labour, please contact Katie Mackenzie and she'll be happy to discuss our various options relating to mindless drones, killer robots and crazy religious zealots. Due to the nature of this line of work Katie deals only in multiples of 1000 with a special deal of 12,000 drones, robots or zealots for the price of 10,000 when hiring this month. Due to logistical concerns we do ask for 3 months notice for orders any larger than 20,000. Katie can also provide company advisers who can teach your people techniques in brainwashing, AI control and manufacture and complete indoctrination techniques to ensure your valuable investment stays this way. We also offer complete insurance cover for unexpected suicides, computer malfunction and loss of faith and as a special introductory offer will replace all faulty merchandise within the first 3 months, like for like.

For the middle of the spectrum Ian Moxon can supply all your technical, military and administrative personnel. Any size job accepted from the staffing of a small mining outpost, fortress or trading hub right up to manning a newly conquered Homeworld, when you want to know that you have the RIGHT people for the job and with little trust in the previous incumbents fulfilling the role to the best of their abilities. Should any starlord be planning major military campaigns Ian is more than happy to get involved in the planning stages so that at no point does your operation falter due to a lack of properly trained staff. For a little extra cost MORe can also provide our own battlegroups to protect our employees as they are dropped into the relevant theatre of operations, to take up their relevant positions. Due to the relatively high initial investment costs of such personnel such an agreement would require a financial guarantee.

Tired of your own galaxy? Conquest gotten boring? Looking for something a bit different or perhaps total domination has taken its toll and you're looking for somewhere to retire but still remain active? Well why not speak to Annette Lewis, our freelance starlord representative. She has thousands of vacancies for ex starlords throughout the galaxy who are looking for the excitement and freedom that originally came with starting out at the very beginning of their careers. There are literally millions of properties that we currently have sole access to that are as yet unaware of the wider galactic community and who require a guiding hand to deliver them to greatness (99% of these planets are not aware that they have such a requirement. MORE are able to provide a pacifying service to our clients should they no longer have the ability or desire to subjugate the planet's current populace). All manner of environments are available ranging from planetary hell-holes to virtual paradises. We can cater for individuals or larger parties so if you have a group of fellow starlords (up to a maximum of 16) that you wish to join in a friendly battle to the death, just like old times, then please call Annette and she can make all the relevant arrangements.

To ensure no time wasters we ask for a standard deposit of 100,000 Imperial Credits for the first 2 services and between 1 million and 16 million Imperial credits should you be a starlord looking for a change in lifestyle. For our first two services a deposit is all that is required and a final invoice will be sent once the goods have been received. For our final service, as well as the deposit, all potential starlords will have to sit a series of tests in order to ensure they are who they say they are rather than individuals that merely have the funds that we require but not the experience. Therefore tests will be conducted in various subjects to gauge levels of Ruthlessness, Combat Ability, Battle Group Tactics and Strategies, Effective Global Domination and Economics. We shall also be offering refresher courses in Diplomacy, Inter-Starlord Relationship Building, Exercising Caution & Mercy and the Utilisation of Common Sense. These refresher courses, however, are entirely optional.

MORE looks forward to hearing from you in the very near future and can assure you of the best possible service at all times. Should any of the above be of interest then please contact Katie, Ian or Annette (or contact main reception and ask for the K.I.A. team) and they would be more than happy to answer any queries that you may have.